(upbeat electronic music) (doorbell rings) – I’m nervous.
– Oh, don’t be ridiculous. They’re gonna love you. – Megan. (laughing) And is this who I think it is? – Yeah, this is the guy from high school that I’ll be fucking while we’re
both home for the holidays. – Oh, your holiday stuffing. – Bobby. Hi. – I’m gonna fuck him twice this week and then a couple of times next Christmas. – We honestly don’t know
much about each other besides the fact that
we’re single and bored. – Oh, you don’t need to
explain holiday stuffing to me. Come on in, guys. Harold, honey, the kids are here. – Hi, I’m Mr. Jarvis. You must be the young man whose ass pubes I found in my Lincoln. – Oh, yes, sir. Uh, we’re both staying with parents, so I rail your daughter in your car. – Right. So, how’d you two meet? – Actually, we know each
other from high school. We never talked then,
but we were the only ones who went off to college. – Yeah, and now we’re back
in town, everybody has kids, so we get together over the holidays and taste each other’s holes. – So, what exactly are your
intentions for my daughter? – Dad.
– No, no, come on. – That’s all right. Uh, well, sir, I’m gonna text
her every night this week around 10:30 except for the
actual holiday, of course. – That way you’ll be asleep. – Uh, then we’re gonna
have one perfunctory drink before we find a parking
lot away from the street. – And we won’t be interrupted while he eats my pussy for 30 minutes. – Yeah.
– Wow. – We don’t know each other well sexually, so it takes me a while to make her come. – I remember my holiday stuffing. He was a boy from my church. I don’t remember his name,
but he had a thick cock. – Oh. – Mine was a guy, Ray. Was it Ray? Maybe. We used to masturbate together
in the bed of my truck. Oh, my Lord, it would get so cold. Oh, golly, it was cold. – It’s a wonderful holiday tradition, like eating at the restaurants they don’t have in your new city. – Or like saying I think this
is Grandma’s last Christmas – Holiday stuffing is my favorite part of coming home, you know. It’s a nice reminder that I’m
an adult with sexual agency even though I’m staying
in my childhood bedroom. – And it means I’ll get
the hometown stretching I missed out on in high school. – It means you can get through
those tense family dinners knowing you’re about to get balled. – Or it means you don’t have to masturbate with your folks in the next room. – Oh, my vibrator’s way too loud for that. (laughing) – Oh, that’s a zinger. – Actually, Megan, we should, uh. – Mm, oh, yeah. Mom, Dad, we gotta go. – Yes, yes, get out of here, you two. Go on. (gentle piano music) – Hey, you two. Don’t bring the car back
smelling like an aquarium. – We’ll find an alley, sir. – Megan. – Yeah, Dad. (gentle piano and violin music) – Merry Christmas. – You too, Daddy. (piano and violin music swells) – Oh, fuck, that’s gonna make me shoot. Oh, yeah, mm. Hey, it’s Grant from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe to the channel. Click here for more fun stuff. Sorry. Guys, it feels like I’m out. Am I out? ‘Cause I can, like, I can
see the top of the camera, so it’s… Is this better? All right, it feels worse. Okay, uh, thanks for watching.